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Monday, March 20th, 2006
7:56 pm - my life?
so spring break was freaking awesome. we had some great times at daytona....and all got a little bit closer i believe. i beat travis at mini golf. i mean that was pretty much the highlight of our crazy spring break trip. the beach was gorgeous and we got in the ocean every day. there were lots of sting rays though and that freaked me out. i think my boyfriend is dating luis now. just look at the facebook pictures. it's creepy. now we're all sick as dogs though. i've been feeling like SHIT all day but that's okay. the health center was completely pointless. he told me i'll feel better by the end of the week and i was like you idiot give me something to feel better now. oh well!

and just for ms. hines b/c she specifically said she hates people who celebrate monthly anniversaries, i would like to wish my travis a belated happy five months. lol who got you now stephanie?

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Monday, February 6th, 2006
10:41 pm - theres no hope now
well i hate to admit this guys......but there is kinda like a few country songs i like now. i know travis has corrupted me. i really don't know how he did it. but seriously i do like rascal flatts now.
especially this song:

I set out on a narrow way many years ago
Hoping I would find true love along the broken road
But I got lost a time or two
Wiped my brow and kept pushing through
I couldn't see how every sign pointed straight to you

Every long lost dream led me to where you are
Others who broke my heart they were like northern stars
Pointing me on my way into your loving arms
This much I know is true
That God blessed the broken road
That led me straight to you

I think about the years I spent just passing through
I'd like to have the time I lost and give it back to you
But you just smile and take my hand
You've been there you understand
It's all part of a grander plan that is coming true

Every long lost dream led me to where you are
Others who broke my heart they were like northern stars
Pointing me on my way into your loving arms
This much I know is true
That God blessed the broken road
That led me straight to you

Now I’m just rollin’ home into my lover's arms
This much I know is true
That God blessed the broken road that led me straight to you

current mood: peaceful

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Tuesday, January 31st, 2006
12:11 pm - happy birthday martin
i read your facebook wall today, and just about everyone who goes to uga seemed to have commented. you've been gone since july, yet nothing has changed. we are still missing you each and every day. i miss you so much that i don't even feel like there is an adjective to describe the way i feel. i keep going everyday, the world hasn't stopped, but it's not the same and it never will be. without you here, everything is a duller, lifeless, depressing... i know you're sitting around in heaven wondering why we are all so "emo" as you would call it. i keep thinking that i will see you, that you will pop out right by the psychology building and walk me to class. I keep thinking you will be here tonight, and we will all brave the snow to walk downtown only to find amicis is closed. but you won't be here, and that's the hardest part to accept. maybe i'm selfish and i just want you to be here for me, but i can't help it. i hope you see how much we loved you, i hope you know that each and every day. i would give anything to walk down hall 7d and here your laugh again, to hear you talk about the girl with the perfect curly hair, or to relive that night when you were in a christmas carol. that night was perfect, you were perfect. you were never afraid to be you, even if people didn't like it. you were loud, funny, and out there for the wolrd to see. we all bugged you about it at the time but now it's what we miss the most. if only i could hear the brick joke one more time. i try to tell people, but it's just not funny when i tell it. the thing i think i respected the most about you was the way you loved people. you loved with all of your heart, never worrying if that love was not returned. you never asked if we deserved it, and i regret everyday not telling you how much i loved you. you were the type of friend that people only dream of. you would give anything to help others, to make us smile. and i wouldn't trade those memories with you for anything in this entire world. you made me realize that there are still people out there who live like each day is their last, who bring the upmost joy to others. just getting to know you for one year was an experience i will never forget, always cherish, and hold close to my heart. you are where you were truly meant to be now, and this gives me comfort though the long nights. for now you are what you were to me on earth, an angel. i love you martini.

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Sunday, January 22nd, 2006
10:39 pm - to travis
i haven't updated much recently. honestly i don't really have much to say. but this is what i need to say now. i'm sorry that i haven't been the best girlfriend lately. and i know you hate it when i say i'm sorry but i'm going to do it anyways. so here is a list, shortened of course, of the reasons i like you:

_you always sing at the top of your lungs even when i tell you that you sound horrible
-you offered to drive to the store to buy me potatoes so you can make me garlic potatoes
-on our first date, you picked doc cheys so i could eat vegetarian foods
-you got me my mushroom
-you liked me so much that you thought of me when you were watching garden state
-my apple, enough said
-you listen to my "moans" in the mornings and rub my head when i hit it against the wall
-you always save the oatmeal cream pies for me
-you hold my hand even when we're with your friends
-you tell me i'm beautiful when i wake up in the morning and look horrible
-you watch me when i sleep
-you come and read my livejournal to make sure i'm happy
-you take me to the pizza hut in target, just kidding
-you told the people at chiles it was mandis birthday just to make us all laugh
-you tolerate me when i'm jealous, bitchy, depressing, moody, and just about all the time
-you watch dawson's creek with me, and i know you'll kill me for admitting that
-you didn't laugh at me when i cried when i read harry potter
-you always make me smile, even when i'm trying hard not to
-you saved that note i wrote you and put it by your mirror
-you always let me have the green pillows because you know i like them more
-you bug me until i tell you what's wrong
-you always talk to my grandma, even when she rambles for hours about nothing
-you found a necklace just like the one i lost and bought it for me for chirstmas
-we bought each other the same gift
-you never stop trying to make me happy, even when i make it hard.

current mood: optimistic

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Sunday, January 1st, 2006
5:28 pm - the new year and all that
well i don't usually update this thing cause i don't feel like my life is that interesting but hmmm new years reflections. i had an awesome new years eve last night, probably the best ever. went to a party in athens with all my friends, and everyone had soooo much fun. we've got the pics to prove it. and of course got to kiss my favorite guy at midnight. couldn't have been better. 2005 was a really tough year i guess. so much stuff happened, a lot of it good but some bad too. i know it's typical to say i learned a lot about myself but i really think i did. i was presented with some pretty tough shit, and i may not have handled it perfectly but just getting through it counts for something. i think martin's death was the hardest thing i've had to deal with.....well maybe ever. i think about him still all the time, but i'm thankful that i even got to spend the short amount of time that i did with him. i know that it brought me closer to a lot of people, made me realize how truly valuable my friends really are. if there were a few more people like him in the world, it would be a much better place. but even though there was lots of bad this year, there was tons of good. my amazing friends that always stand by me, even when i'm a total bitch. and i know i am sometimes. this year i also met travis. i'll be the first to admit that our relationship isn't perfect, but what relationship is. the important thing is no matter how dumb it sounds he makes me happy. he's there for me when i know i don't deserve it because he sees me at my worst. so theres my oveall thoughts on the year 2005, and hopefully 2006 will be even better.

current mood: relaxed

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Sunday, December 18th, 2005
5:21 pm
Ground Rules: The first player of this "game" starts with the topic "5 weird habits of yours" and people who get tagged need to write an LJ entry about their 5 quirky habits as well as state this rule clearly. In the end, you need to choose the next 5 people to be tagged and list their names.

1. I tear off the tops of bananas and don't eat them. I dunno why but the texture just freaks me out.

2. I talk in my sleep. Not just normal talking, but I mummble words that make no sense whatsoever. I will actually tap Travis until he wakes up and get mad at him if he does not respond to me.

3. I hate sponges and refuse to use them. I think they are disgusting and unsanitary and if anyone ever washes dishes with them, I will not eat off that dish if I can get around it.

4. I eat cereal w/o milk b/c I don't like soggy cereal.

5. Before I take a test, I recopy all of my notes from that chapter in different colors. It's totally psycho but it's the only way I learn it.

TAGGED: Jamie, Elizabeth(if she reads this), Megumi, Stephanie, and Joy

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Monday, November 21st, 2005
1:12 am - from joysephenalina
Name 10 things in no particular order that make you happy and tag five others.

1.pasta roni
2.morning sex
4.reading harry potter
5."study breaks"
6.uga football
7.my fri-neds
9.flip flops
10. travis :)

hmmm...i tag piegirl04, squareballoon, cluelessmeg1019, renrave67,iceman1138

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Sunday, November 6th, 2005
9:51 pm - NEW PICS!!!
Check out my webshots! I'll put a lot more from this semester up later.


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Wednesday, October 19th, 2005
3:24 pm - wasting time before class
i have over an hour break in between my stat and bio labs but i know if i go home i will basically walk in the door, shove some food in my mouth, then walk out to find myself just missing the bus. lol it's the only bad part of living off campus. being crammed in with too many people on one bus with no personal room and i never get a seat, NEVER. i can't even reach the lil bar b/c i'm too short, which honestly is probably pretty amusing to watch. :) this week has overall been pretty good. lately i've been getting no sleep, but thats okay. te he he. i'm attempting to learn raquetball once again so i can have a hobby. me and travis played for almost an hour and a half i think yesterday. i some how managed to hit myself right in the face when i hit the ball against the wall. i'm excited about this weekend b/c we're all going to go to a corn maze and/or a haunted house and me and trav are going to see elizabethtown. i've been really happy and relaxed lately, which is nice for a change. school is going really well this semester. i kinda need to get a job though. oh well i'll eventually decide to stop being lazy.

current mood: happy

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Sunday, October 16th, 2005
6:22 pm - only in athens
last night the funniest thing happened. we were driving back from a friends party in jamies car, both her and i were sober, but everyone else had been drinking. so there is a dui roadblock and the conversation went as follows:

Cop: Has everyone in the car been drinking tonight?
Jamie: Yes sir.
Cop: Have you been drinking?
Jamie: Oh no, no sir.
Cop: Okay go on through.

lol that was funny shit. jamie even said yes and he just was like okay. jamie steiner i love you.

current mood: cheerful

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Sunday, October 2nd, 2005
5:50 pm
so this weekend has been cray cray. even though i didn't get to go home(sniff sniff) i'm going home next weekend. nicoles bday party was on friday night. it was...lets just say entertaining. i met some new friends which is always good. the funniest/creepiest thing happened last night. all my roommates had gone home this weekend and i heard the toilet flushing from luis and sweeleys side at like seven in the morning, and i knew that they weren't coming back until later. i started freaking out and me and travis went to check it out. i kept calling out, "luis, sweeley?" but no one answered. we looked in sweeley's room but no one was there and then we went to luis's room and i saw someone under the covers. it was this random drunk guy who had gotten into the apartment b/c i guess that the door didn't lock completely. it was so funny but i probably would have been freaked out if i had been alone. he kept saying that he was a friend of britney and some other girl that we don't know. lol it was so weird. he didn't believe me at first and i started sceaming, "get the fuck out of my apartment." that was the most entertaining part of the weekend. oh and also when ruma and lauren ordered a pizza and ran outside so no one would steal it to eat it at the pool lol. in other news laura saffold has a date on monday. imagine that. i haven't been on a date in forever it seems like. should be fun.

current mood: mellow

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Wednesday, September 21st, 2005
7:00 pm
1) Reply with your name and I'll respond with something random about you.
2) I'll tell you what song/movie reminds me of you.
3) I'll pick a flavor/color of jello to wrestle with you in. (Maybe.)
4) I'll say something that only makes sense to you and me.
5) I'll tell you my first memory of you.
6) I'll tell you what animal you remind me of.
7) I'll ask you something that I've always wondered about you.
8) If I do this for you, you must post this on your journal. You MUST. It is written.

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Thursday, September 15th, 2005
5:22 am - why the fuck am i still up at five in the morning?
sometimes i think that i should just stop sleeping since i get so little of it already. tonight was a fun and chilled night. hanging out with friends and just being silly. why don't we have more guys in our group?!?!?!?!?! AHHHHHH!!!!! sometimes i feel like we are more manly than the boys we are friends with. lol and i would/have said this to their face many times. nicole, naomi, and i have decided we spend more time thinking about hooking up than damn guys. it's been a pretty fun year so far despite a few low points, but hey there are always those along the way. i've gotten my stressful week out of the way and there is a lot to look forward to in the next few weeks. this weekend theres the game sat and various exciting parties saturday night. next weekend is the jump concert and possilbe visitors from home(aka coury/stephanie and alex/joy have no choice but to come if they want to continue a frienship with me).
and then the next weekend i think i'm finally going home. i can't wait to see everyone!!!!!!!!!!! i'm so excited about stephanie's new apartment. and i can't wait to see my mom. she's such a strong woman and has been through so much in the past week. as i've gotten older and matured i've realized how truly amazing my family really is. :) i'm in a great mood right now even though i should be IN BED!!!! i can't wait until fall break. me and jamie were talking about planning a weekend trip and everyones invited. that would be a great escape. i'm so excited. some other great news is that a club i'm in at UGA called Lions Club decided to try to raise money for Katrina at tate center, which basically constited of me, mandi, and some of the other girls annoying ppl with our yelling and hitting on a lot of guys. as sweeley said: "for every one girl that donated you got twenty more guys." but the awesome news is that in one day we raised over five hundred dollars. that made my week pretty amazing. well night b/c no ones up anyways.

current mood: calm

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Friday, August 26th, 2005
2:26 am
i guess i thought i meant more than that to you. fuck that shit.

current mood: drunk

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Thursday, August 25th, 2005
4:25 am
why do i do this to myself? i'm kinda in blah stage in my life right now. nothings really wrong exactly, but then again nothings exactly right. i know i tend to live in the past too much, always punishing myself for the mistakes i've made. i guess we've all made a few....or in some cases a few more than a few. these past two weeks have been really strange. interesting but definately unique. i've changed my opinion about a lot of things and a few ppl. i know most ppl who are my age spend all their time having fun and partying. trust me i've done a lot of that in the past two weeks...maybe i had a little too much fun at times :). but still i guess i'm always looking for more in my life. i want to live my life in a martin way. i can't think of any other way to describe it other than that. i thank god everyday for my friends and family and i doubt i say that enough. i don't even know whats on my mind. lol so i'm giving up for tonight. maybe some other time i can put all my thoughts together.

current mood: exhausted

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Saturday, August 20th, 2005
3:14 pm - i have no internet!!
i realized how dependent i am on technology this week b/c we have no internet in our apartment yet. as if we don't have enough problems in our room. we didn't have a fridge for the first week b/c the racks were broken, our washer was broken, our wall was gross as hell, among other problems. but the worst thing is that we have cockroaches. i'm not just talking about a few, i mean about a million. i think they have a conspiracy to take over the world and they're starting with our apartment. my roomies are all awesome though and we've been having so much fun despite our problems. me and the boys had a few fights that involved spraying nasty ass axe all over me. it was hilarious even though that stuff smelled like shit. so far this week we have consumed too much alcohol, made about a million friends late nights at the pool, managed to get through the first day of school, learned how to kill roaches, had a few "family" dinners, and much much more that i don't need to include on here. i have a fake now, aka a license printed on photo paper but hey if it works. this has been a crazy crazy ass week.

current mood: hungry

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Friday, August 5th, 2005
1:28 am - vacation and whatnot
just got back from gatlinburg. we did a lot of really fun stuff. went to ober gatlinburg(this amusement type place where a lot of russian people work) where we watched sweeley almost seriously injure himself on a ride called the alpine slide and rode up to the top of a mountain where there were "bears" but the stupid idiots lied to us. there were not bears. then we went tubing which was fun and saw these weird cult ppl who said the god of sheeba would help them decide which way to go on the river. lol wtf. we did hillbilly golf too which was very entertaining. stephanie is apparently a professional mini golfer. coury pissed one of the rednecks off by sitting on a tractor and he ran down the mountain to yell at him. lol. and also went to the ripleys believe it or not museum that had a lot of cool stuff. alex and joy also bought weapons to destroy each other. we all know joy will win....i mean umm. and of course the best part of our stay was the family inn and suites of america, which despite outward appearances turned out to be very nice on the inside.

i really enjoyed going on vacation with everyone. i've really been realizing the true value of friendship and how no one should ever take it for granted. it's been a hard few weeks and the vacation did me good. thanks for being there for me guys, even though i might seem a little distant or weird lately. i miss martin every second of every day, and it's all i can to do get by. as dumb and cliche as it sounds, it would be a lot harder to get out of bed in the morning if it wasn't for all of you. i love you all and i want you to always know that b/c i didn't tell martin enough and i'm not making that mistake again.

current mood: tired

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Saturday, July 23rd, 2005
3:08 pm - goodbye martini
i'm about to go to your funeral. justin told me to wear something that reminds me of you. i'm wearing what i wore to go to your show, a christmas carol. you were so amazing and alive that night. i want to always remember you like that. but most importantly my hair is curly.

current mood: depressed

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Friday, July 22nd, 2005
9:03 pm - Everybody knows it hurts to grow up

This might be the hardest livejournal entry i've ever had to write. martin i'm going to try to say a few things for you but i don't know how well this will come out. from the day i've met you, you've always been someone special in my life. you came up to me and started touching my hair and telling me how much you loved curly hair. i had never even talked to you before that. you used to get mad everytime i straightened it. i remember once in my livejournal how your favorite memory of me was when you told god to give me curly hair before i was born. you never ceased to make me laugh, and no matter how rough things got you always knew what to say to make someone feel like they were going to make it through. and now we're even more lost than ever and you're not here to tell us it's okay. i know you're looking down and laughing at me and thinking, "laura you're so emo."  you were always there for all of my problems and you told me i only deserved the best. you truly believed it too because that was just the type of person you were, always wanting the best for all of your friends. nothing about you was unoriginal, from the way that you laughed, to your interests, to the girls you picked, to your personality,  to your talent, to the way you cared for people without any question. you were the type of person that challenged me to look at my life and be a better person. we were supposed to go to a concert last weekend together and you wrote about how excited you were about it because you had missed me all summer. i would trade anything in the world to see you one last time, to go to that concert with you. i wish i could have seen you one last time, but i know that i am lucky to have even spent one hour with you. we used to laugh so much together and i think i'll miss that the most. everyone keeps talking about your sense of humor and the way you would light up a room. unless someone had met you they wouldn't understand it. you were so "martin" and there's no other way to describe you. sensitive, creative, and kind right? i joked around with you about picking those traits for youself in psychology but they were true. you hugged me that day i was crying when it felt like nothing was right and told me you would put me in your bosom. and that day in bolton we laughed about jamie and the thong joke, the bag of popcorn,  freud, and the day you came in my room during finals and we said we were going to study but just spent the whole time laughing. you and i would complain about our lives sucking and that all seems so trivial now b/c you're not here. we talked about all the things we wanted to do with our life. you'll never get the chance to do all the things you had dreamed of and that just kills me. i'm going to try hard martin to go after mine because i know that would make you happy. it makes me feel so good that you are up there watching down on me and you know how much you were loved. i think they need a new wall on facebook for you b/c yours is completely filled up. you touched so many people that i just have to feel blessed that i was one of them. i keep listening to still fighting by ben folds b/c we always listened to that together. i'm crying so much now that i don't think i can write much more without babbling on. you will always be my martini and i will always love you and i hope you knew that. i'm sorry i didn't say more how much you meant to me, every single day i knew you.


current mood: crushed

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Thursday, July 21st, 2005
12:29 pm
this is not seriously happening. i can't even process this right now. mandi just called me five minutes ago and told me martin had a seizure and died last night. i don't even know how to begin to deal with this. martin was such a great person. i was supposed to go to his show tonight, i was supposed to hang out with him, and now i'll never see him again. i don't even think it's truely hit me yet. i have to be at work in a few minutes b/c i'm only on break now. god how are you supposed to deal with death? i've been through it before and it never gets any easier, not that i supposed it ever should. just keep martin's family and friends in your prayers. i can't even think enough to write anything else right now.

current mood: shocked

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