(no subject)

so this weekend has been cray cray. even though i didn't get to go home(sniff sniff) i'm going home next weekend. nicoles bday party was on friday night. it was...lets just say entertaining. i met some new friends which is always good. the funniest/creepiest thing happened last night. all my roommates had gone home this weekend and i heard the toilet flushing from luis and sweeleys side at like seven in the morning, and i knew that they weren't coming back until later. i started freaking out and me and travis went to check it out. i kept calling out, "luis, sweeley?" but no one answered. we looked in sweeley's room but no one was there and then we went to luis's room and i saw someone under the covers. it was this random drunk guy who had gotten into the apartment b/c i guess that the door didn't lock completely. it was so funny but i probably would have been freaked out if i had been alone. he kept saying that he was a friend of britney and some other girl that we don't know. lol it was so weird. he didn't believe me at first and i started sceaming, "get the fuck out of my apartment." that was the most entertaining part of the weekend. oh and also when ruma and lauren ordered a pizza and ran outside so no one would steal it to eat it at the pool lol. in other news laura saffold has a date on monday. imagine that. i haven't been on a date in forever it seems like. should be fun.
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    mellow mellow

(no subject)

1) Reply with your name and I'll respond with something random about you.
2) I'll tell you what song/movie reminds me of you.
3) I'll pick a flavor/color of jello to wrestle with you in. (Maybe.)
4) I'll say something that only makes sense to you and me.
5) I'll tell you my first memory of you.
6) I'll tell you what animal you remind me of.
7) I'll ask you something that I've always wondered about you.
8) If I do this for you, you must post this on your journal. You MUST. It is written.

why the fuck am i still up at five in the morning?

sometimes i think that i should just stop sleeping since i get so little of it already. tonight was a fun and chilled night. hanging out with friends and just being silly. why don't we have more guys in our group?!?!?!?!?! AHHHHHH!!!!! sometimes i feel like we are more manly than the boys we are friends with. lol and i would/have said this to their face many times. nicole, naomi, and i have decided we spend more time thinking about hooking up than damn guys. it's been a pretty fun year so far despite a few low points, but hey there are always those along the way. i've gotten my stressful week out of the way and there is a lot to look forward to in the next few weeks. this weekend theres the game sat and various exciting parties saturday night. next weekend is the jump concert and possilbe visitors from home(aka coury/stephanie and alex/joy have no choice but to come if they want to continue a frienship with me).
and then the next weekend i think i'm finally going home. i can't wait to see everyone!!!!!!!!!!! i'm so excited about stephanie's new apartment. and i can't wait to see my mom. she's such a strong woman and has been through so much in the past week. as i've gotten older and matured i've realized how truly amazing my family really is. :) i'm in a great mood right now even though i should be IN BED!!!! i can't wait until fall break. me and jamie were talking about planning a weekend trip and everyones invited. that would be a great escape. i'm so excited. some other great news is that a club i'm in at UGA called Lions Club decided to try to raise money for Katrina at tate center, which basically constited of me, mandi, and some of the other girls annoying ppl with our yelling and hitting on a lot of guys. as sweeley said: "for every one girl that donated you got twenty more guys." but the awesome news is that in one day we raised over five hundred dollars. that made my week pretty amazing. well night b/c no ones up anyways.
  • Current Music
    take my picture-filter

(no subject)

why do i do this to myself? i'm kinda in blah stage in my life right now. nothings really wrong exactly, but then again nothings exactly right. i know i tend to live in the past too much, always punishing myself for the mistakes i've made. i guess we've all made a few....or in some cases a few more than a few. these past two weeks have been really strange. interesting but definately unique. i've changed my opinion about a lot of things and a few ppl. i know most ppl who are my age spend all their time having fun and partying. trust me i've done a lot of that in the past two weeks...maybe i had a little too much fun at times :). but still i guess i'm always looking for more in my life. i want to live my life in a martin way. i can't think of any other way to describe it other than that. i thank god everyday for my friends and family and i doubt i say that enough. i don't even know whats on my mind. lol so i'm giving up for tonight. maybe some other time i can put all my thoughts together.
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    brick

i have no internet!!

i realized how dependent i am on technology this week b/c we have no internet in our apartment yet. as if we don't have enough problems in our room. we didn't have a fridge for the first week b/c the racks were broken, our washer was broken, our wall was gross as hell, among other problems. but the worst thing is that we have cockroaches. i'm not just talking about a few, i mean about a million. i think they have a conspiracy to take over the world and they're starting with our apartment. my roomies are all awesome though and we've been having so much fun despite our problems. me and the boys had a few fights that involved spraying nasty ass axe all over me. it was hilarious even though that stuff smelled like shit. so far this week we have consumed too much alcohol, made about a million friends late nights at the pool, managed to get through the first day of school, learned how to kill roaches, had a few "family" dinners, and much much more that i don't need to include on here. i have a fake now, aka a license printed on photo paper but hey if it works. this has been a crazy crazy ass week.
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    hungry hungry

vacation and whatnot

just got back from gatlinburg. we did a lot of really fun stuff. went to ober gatlinburg(this amusement type place where a lot of russian people work) where we watched sweeley almost seriously injure himself on a ride called the alpine slide and rode up to the top of a mountain where there were "bears" but the stupid idiots lied to us. there were not bears. then we went tubing which was fun and saw these weird cult ppl who said the god of sheeba would help them decide which way to go on the river. lol wtf. we did hillbilly golf too which was very entertaining. stephanie is apparently a professional mini golfer. coury pissed one of the rednecks off by sitting on a tractor and he ran down the mountain to yell at him. lol. and also went to the ripleys believe it or not museum that had a lot of cool stuff. alex and joy also bought weapons to destroy each other. we all know joy will win....i mean umm. and of course the best part of our stay was the family inn and suites of america, which despite outward appearances turned out to be very nice on the inside.

i really enjoyed going on vacation with everyone. i've really been realizing the true value of friendship and how no one should ever take it for granted. it's been a hard few weeks and the vacation did me good. thanks for being there for me guys, even though i might seem a little distant or weird lately. i miss martin every second of every day, and it's all i can to do get by. as dumb and cliche as it sounds, it would be a lot harder to get out of bed in the morning if it wasn't for all of you. i love you all and i want you to always know that b/c i didn't tell martin enough and i'm not making that mistake again.
  • Current Music
    learn to live with what you are--ben folds

goodbye martini

i'm about to go to your funeral. justin told me to wear something that reminds me of you. i'm wearing what i wore to go to your show, a christmas carol. you were so amazing and alive that night. i want to always remember you like that. but most importantly my hair is curly.

Everybody knows it hurts to grow up

This might be the hardest livejournal entry i've ever had to write. martin i'm going to try to say a few things for you but i don't know how well this will come out. from the day i've met you, you've always been someone special in my life. you came up to me and started touching my hair and telling me how much you loved curly hair. i had never even talked to you before that. you used to get mad everytime i straightened it. i remember once in my livejournal how your favorite memory of me was when you told god to give me curly hair before i was born. you never ceased to make me laugh, and no matter how rough things got you always knew what to say to make someone feel like they were going to make it through. and now we're even more lost than ever and you're not here to tell us it's okay. i know you're looking down and laughing at me and thinking, "laura you're so emo."  you were always there for all of my problems and you told me i only deserved the best. you truly believed it too because that was just the type of person you were, always wanting the best for all of your friends. nothing about you was unoriginal, from the way that you laughed, to your interests, to the girls you picked, to your personality,  to your talent, to the way you cared for people without any question. you were the type of person that challenged me to look at my life and be a better person. we were supposed to go to a concert last weekend together and you wrote about how excited you were about it because you had missed me all summer. i would trade anything in the world to see you one last time, to go to that concert with you. i wish i could have seen you one last time, but i know that i am lucky to have even spent one hour with you. we used to laugh so much together and i think i'll miss that the most. everyone keeps talking about your sense of humor and the way you would light up a room. unless someone had met you they wouldn't understand it. you were so "martin" and there's no other way to describe you. sensitive, creative, and kind right? i joked around with you about picking those traits for youself in psychology but they were true. you hugged me that day i was crying when it felt like nothing was right and told me you would put me in your bosom. and that day in bolton we laughed about jamie and the thong joke, the bag of popcorn,  freud, and the day you came in my room during finals and we said we were going to study but just spent the whole time laughing. you and i would complain about our lives sucking and that all seems so trivial now b/c you're not here. we talked about all the things we wanted to do with our life. you'll never get the chance to do all the things you had dreamed of and that just kills me. i'm going to try hard martin to go after mine because i know that would make you happy. it makes me feel so good that you are up there watching down on me and you know how much you were loved. i think they need a new wall on facebook for you b/c yours is completely filled up. you touched so many people that i just have to feel blessed that i was one of them. i keep listening to still fighting by ben folds b/c we always listened to that together. i'm crying so much now that i don't think i can write much more without babbling on. you will always be my martini and i will always love you and i hope you knew that. i'm sorry i didn't say more how much you meant to me, every single day i knew you.

 

  • Current Music
    still fighting

(no subject)

this is not seriously happening. i can't even process this right now. mandi just called me five minutes ago and told me martin had a seizure and died last night. i don't even know how to begin to deal with this. martin was such a great person. i was supposed to go to his show tonight, i was supposed to hang out with him, and now i'll never see him again. i don't even think it's truely hit me yet. i have to be at work in a few minutes b/c i'm only on break now. god how are you supposed to deal with death? i've been through it before and it never gets any easier, not that i supposed it ever should. just keep martin's family and friends in your prayers. i can't even think enough to write anything else right now.
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    shocked shocked